The Way To Wait

Perhaps you are going through one of the following circumstances:

Your best friend or family member is in ICU. The doctor says that we'll have to "wait and see" how it goes.

The lump looks suspicious, it requires a biopsy...

You've had the second interview, and you think this job would be the perfect fit for you. The benefits are excellent and the pay is great. Besides you are very unhappy in the position you're in now. "We'll call you".

You've met all the requirements, provided all the documentation for the loan, now you have to wait to hear from the underwriter. You want the house, the car, the apartment. Will you be approved?

When life places us in a "holding pattern", and it will, anxiety and stress can reach an all time high. Some people literally make themselves sick while waiting. Becoming nauseated, sufferring from headaches, etc. There are those who make everyone around them miserable as they become irritable and anxious while waiting. Others become paralyzed with fear and do nothing, perhaps taking to their beds in a state of depression. How do you wait?

I've experienced all of the above scenarios and then some. Admittedly there were times that I failed the "waiting test". What I have come to realize with experience however is, there is a better "way to wait". A way that allows us to have perfect peace while waiting.

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God." Philippians 4:6. It is imperative to trust your higher power while waiting knowing "... that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28. If we trust that God wants the best for us, we can "release" our "grip" and rest in the assurance that all is well and just as it is supposed to be.

Staying present is also important while waiting. If we are anxious about the future, or an outcome, we often loose the present moment which is all any of us has. Life is a series of moments and the only reality is in the present moment. By staying "present" we LIVE, respond and engage in what is happening now. If we are fully in the moment, there is no room for preocuppation with what might or might not be. There are many books that are written about staying in the present and meditating that are helpful with the "practice" of staying present. One of the books I found most impactful for me was, "The Power of Now", by Eckhart Tolle. (Available on my website http://www.thevocalheart.com/) .This book was not only comforting in the early stages of my grieving the loss of my husband, but it also reminded me to stay tuned to the moments of life and appreciate NOW.

When I reflect on my "holding patterns" in life, I bring the references forward to whatever it is that I might find myself waiting for now. When I do this, I am always reminded, that everything unfolded just as it should have. Even the times when the outcome was not what I wanted or even thought I could handle. In restrospect I would have to admit, they always turned out for my good. Some of the most difficult circumstances of my life have turned out to be the biggest growth and learning opportunities, and when I connected the dots, the challenges have always lead to a blessing. As Maya Angelou would say, "I would'nt take nothing for my journey".

So here are some suggestions for how to wait:

PRAY: Pray to your higher power and tell him specifically what outcome you would like, but remember to pray for His will and for the strength and courage to ACCEPT His will.

REFLECT: Look back over previous life circumstances and how you survived them and even grew through them. Remind yourself that no matter the outcome, everything will be o.k.

STAY PRESENT: Practice staying in the present. Engage in the moment. If you find yourself worrying about the outcome, bring yourself back to the present by touching, smelling, tasting or looking at nature. Notice the beauty and intricacy of a flower, a tree, the snowflakes. Describe the frangrance of the air or the aroma of something that is cooking. If someone is speaking, pay special attention to what they are saying, listen intently.

JOURNAL: Write what you are feeling in a journal while you are waiting. The emotions, the fears, worries, hopes, etc. Get it out of your mind and heart, release it and commit to leaving it there.

BE BUSY: Get busy doing something productive, perhaps organize a closet, a drawer or something else you've been meaning to get to. You will feel better once its completed and this can be a symbolic way of organizing your thoughts while organizing your environment. The time it takes to focus on a productive task takes away the time focusing on an outcome that is outside of our control.

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF: While waiting, remember to eat healthy, take vitamins and excercise. Excercise releases endorphins that allow an immediate emotional "lift". Stress can cause very real physical illness. Fill your mind with inspirational readings, perhaps from the bible or other inspirational books or dvd's. And remember to AVOID negative people who express doom and gloom. This is not the time to have a pity party. Surround yourself with people who are encouraging, supportive and full of faith. If you do not have a support system, get busy creating one weather its an on-line support group, or personal friends and family.

 If the worry begins to seep in again, repeat steps one through six!

The Vocal Heart
"Let Your Heart Speak"